family · mom · wahm

Throwback Thursday

Spending this #throwbackthursday #tbt looking at a photo album from my past that, seriously, seems like it was only a year or two ago, but it’s been over a decade! I stopped on one photo of myself and my now husband, Carlos, before we were married and before having my two boys. Alyssa was always in the picture. 🙂  It’s not the typical romantic couple “kissy” picture. He managed to plant a cartoon style SMOOCH on me before I had a chance to realize this was going to happen. I am a mixture of being thoroughly amused and being grossed out. But it’s very obvious that the couple in the picture is very much in love, happy and super silly (and maybe slightly obnoxious). As I look at this picture, I’m reminded of who I used to be. Don’t get me wrong, I have made some strides and grown in a lot of ways as I’ve grown up, but I’ve lost some of THIS along the way. It can really suck a lot of fun out of life when you grow up and start having a laundry list of responsibilities. It’s stressful when you have other people to worry about other than yourself and the person you’re in love with. I love my kids so much, but my anxious personality takes that love and turns it into worry and paranoia half the time. That’s something else I need to work on-a blog post for another time, perhaps. But, whatever happens in life, no matter how stressful, I cannot allow myself to change so much that I lose THIS. The words from Johnny to Ponyboy come to mind when I see my past self. “Stay Gold.” I’m going to try to.

Image

Carlos and I circa 2002

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